Rejection Letter #2 - Plus bad news: Return to Start

Hi Hubris,

We really appreciate you coming out to meet us last week. For aspiring musicians, it's always good to meet like-minded people who share the same taste and goals. Having said that, we're a little weary of a few issues that we've talked about as a band. First, logistically it might be a little difficult to pull off the commuting every Saturday - especially if you'll be needing to work on Saturdays. Second, we know you can sing, but we're concerned about the lack of song-writing experience. We've had a few singers in the past who had a lot of trouble creating melodies and understanding song structures, and we're looking for a singer who can take control of a song, deconstruct it's parts, and turnaround a melody that is in tune with the song elements, tone, key(s), and dynamics.

I hope you can understand, as these aren't easy choices for us. We wish you luck with your musical endeavors, as you are one of the few people we've met who seems to have the drive and the passion for making music.

Thanks again for interest, and take care.

Sincerely,
RFM

This is issue #1. I'll get to the second wad of shit-stink in a minute. Okay. Band #2 on a very short list of local artists that have captured my interest is not onboard with what I have to offer. Fair enough. Their letter was particularly kind and encouraging. Also, discouraging if you still follow me here... When traveling out there by greater Toronto transit, all I could do was marvel at the stunning amount of time that it took me to get out there to meet them. 1:15 hours each way. Their time concern was certainly mine as well, however I was willing to give it a shot. I'm very accommodating about schedules when it comes to things of this personal importance. Yet they're right about the worky on weekend horseshit. I have pretty much the whole month of June Saturdays booked either out of town or making up the hours for going out of town.

I appreciate that they acknowledge my current level of skill and my passion to pursue this. I agree. Not because I'm hot shit - I'm not - because they see something in me that I just recently became aware of myself. I feel it. It is enormous and wants to escape. First it needs refining.

Wow. You hit the shit out of that ball! Go back home, Rookie.

I just started. By all reasonable accounts I have years to go. Still their concerns for song-writing experience, while more than understandable, still cut. I can't try if I have no music. I can only write. Hmmm. I do in fact have a song. The one from Rejection #1. Damn. I still feel bummed about that one. Mostly due to my belief that they are closer to the future with their music rather than the past. Perhaps, though I was rejected, I should finish that one. After all, they haven't found a singer yet as far as I can tell. I come to this rather than search anew or return to practice with the band I started because I learned tonight that our guitarist is walking. No reason given and done so via facebook. Very High School break up, no? So yeah, thats shit-stink #2. No prospects in sight and not even a fledgling group to jam with. Return to start and may as well lose a turn while we're at it. To learn these both in one night has been extremely disappointing. I'm taking it rather well. I feel stuff inside, but I'm more interested in what I might do by tomorrow night in order to change this course. I can write enough lyrics to map out that tune. In addition, meet with guy at work for another lesson in Music Theory. Other goals can wait.

The perfectionist in me urges me to wait until what I have to write sounds good enough for me. Fuck me that's been a boring chore. Like pondering the conversations of garden stones. Lets try writing anything and piecing the thoughts together at a later time instead. How about all things music during free time? Can I get away with that or even will myself to do it? I suppose if I can't even go all the way on something that I finally have a passion for, then why not choose something easier and mundane? Maybe I'm so used to being disinterested with everything over the last 15 years that I forgot how. It mixes with difficulties with discipline I have no doubt. I don't finish things for one reason or another. Like this post