Suggestions

I went out to karaoke last night with girlbits and a friend named after a deity. We went to a local pub that has been gaining popularity for said karaoke. Vast selection, hilarious prick of a host and of course, beer :)

*sigh*

So, there was a medium sized group of folks off to the side. New regulars. Youngins. Mostly post teens but a few genuine mid twenties in there as well. They were having a great time with the booze. The liked my singing apparently. I started with "Street Spirit by Radiohead. My voice has ben shot for 2 weeks due to illness. Why did I pick THAT song!? It was really hard to control when all my pipes want to do is cough my lungs onto the floor. One guy, who MD suggests may be gay, felt the need to approach me in the washroom to tell me that I sang incredibly. *blushes* "Thank you very much" I replied. *politely exits quickly* I return to my table and continue my beering until its my turn to sing again.

Ænima - Tool was my second choice. Let me start by saying that I especially love this band and their music and lyrics are a primary influence for my late blooming endeavors to be an educated rock singer. I nailed it. I knew it when nearly every person in the bar gave a hoot and a cheer. Wow. Feels good. Certainly that is part of the reason I do this though not entirely.

I walked to the washroom again and when I returned, there was another guy from that group waiting to compliment me on my ability. Such that he said I had a voice similar to Tool's singer. *tries to keep ego from dramatically inflating* Seriously, there isn't much one could say about my singing that is more flattering then that. He seemed very interested in wether I had a band to sing for. "I do" I replied. He asked what we sound like... hrm...

I described to him that the rest of my band is very young and fairly enthusiastic. I described how the back up singer is getting better at guitar, has a phenomenal voice and drive to be on stage. I stated that our new guitarist is competent and can pick up pretty much anything he sets his mind to. I also relayed that our bassist and drummer aren't bad but that we as a band are starting from scratch. As such, they need a metronome. A larger practice space and above all, way more time to practice.

After all this, this guy tells me that I have too much talent to start from the ground. Further he'd like to put me in contact with a metal drummer who according to him, she has stellar timing and can wield a double kicker. He basically told me to fuck off and take anyone with talent with me.

Another thing to consider: By and large, the compliments are offered by strangers. My friends compliment as well of course, but its the strangers that have got me thinking about it this hard. They have nothing to lose by hurting or petting your feelings when it comes to your talents or lack thereof.

Here's the thing. I like the people in my band. Very much. Yet I have argued with the drummer regarding practices and taking this thing seriously. We pretty much dropped it but it wanders the back of my head that I feel there is no time left. If I want this, I have to throw myself into it head first and not look back. I can't wait for others to decide what they want. They don't want me to either. Not if it means feeling pressure instead of getting together to enjoy playing some music. Fair enough. I just don't want to hurt friends. Yet I do want to sing live shows regularly. I want to tour. I want to write lyrics. I want to sing for a great band. I want people to understand my words and think about them. I want them to swim in the music I help make. I want them to love it and want more. And, I won't lie. I want the attention.

Lastly is a brief story that occurred about a year and a half ago. I went with the girlbits to a burlesque show by the Shameless Dames. It was pretty hot despite its budget. What mostly interested me was the singer of the intermission band that took the stage. They were called Church of Robot. A three piece obviously composed of high-school friends. The bassist wasn't great. The keyboardist was also not much. They kept time okay but the music wasn't moving. What blew me away was the energy of the singer. He was all over the stage. A scrawny punky type with a serious set of chops. Very passionate. I recall telling MD on the way home after the show, that if I were a scout or an agent or whatever, I'd have walked up to that singer and told him to come with me. That he had a future as a singer if he wanted it. The only catch is that his band of friends will have to be left behind.

He had what it takes.

Do I? That is the question I ask myself. I could ask MD or her friends or my sister. I wont. I love this enough that I realize the necessity to think for myself for once. I really I try to be humble. Its hard to do when you know you have a talent. I'm definitely not the best singer by far. However, I know I have raw talent that has never been professionally trained and still gets mad compliments and urges to go and go very far. This is something I have always wanted but have mostly been to scared to try.