Questions About Death - As Inspired by Natalia

Nat, you are one of my favorite reads. *bear hugs*

What do you think happens after you die?
I will be food for the small crawlers of the Earth. Some will morn my passing and others will rejoice. The rest will take no notice. I hope that I have a consciousness of some kind. As tired as I am sometimes, an awareness greater than the span of what my body is capable would be preferred.

Do you believe in heaven?
I believe in enlightenment but I don't think that is the same. As far as the religious concepts of heaven, not a chance. I do not believe that God is up there floating on clouds riding a throne of gold. I do not believe that a team of naked virgins await to please my cock if I die just so. I do not believe that there is a magical mystical place where angelic choirs sing the praise of the One Creator constantly. If there is such a place and I am horribly wrong AND after saying all this I'd still be welcome there, I'm willing to bet I'd be bored to tears and in all probability, fling myself off of my 9th level cloud and swan dive into the sea miles below. Then again, heaven may be each to their own... I think my heaven would consist of being allowed a few years to haunt the living and then rest forever. This life can be so exhausting.

Do you believe in hell?
On Earth, yes. Beyond that, it is a construct only made real by human ways of interpreting the ever changing meanings of good, bad and behaviors that are attributed to either.

Do you think you will be judged after you die?
Only if we judge ourselves. Hrm... Similar to what goes on in Shiji's head at the End of Evangelion :)

How many people will attend your funeral?
87. Duh...

Would you rather that people cry or laugh at your funeral?
What they remember of me will determine this. I prefer laughter as it is my favorite thing to do for people.

What's better: A shot in the head or downing pills?
OOOoo! Morphine pills, if you please :D

What should be written on your tombstone?
Nick D.
True Lover & Best Friend
Silly & Childlike
Decent Singer
Spectacular Fuck

Would you rather die childless or divorced?
What the hell kind of question is this? Suddenly those who have children never get divorced? *sigh* Fine. I am divorced already. Are you happy now? Also? Likely that I'll die childless. I like children and I do get the instinctive message to procreate but for various reasons, I don't think its in the cards. So, perhaps both.

Do you want to die in the morning, afternoon, or night?
I'm afraid I cannot begin to pick one. It really won't matter.

If you had a million dollars to leave, who would you leave it to?
25% to my sister, 50% to MD, and the rest to her children.

What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?
don't care. As long as they are potted and won't wither to their doom along with my corpse. I hate that about funerals.

On your deathbed, which moment will you most remember?
I hope to remember as many beautiful moments as possible. There will never be just one that I can choose.

Have you ever watched someone die?
Many people. Many times. It was very traumatic at first. Strange how quickly it became part of my work day that was accepted. I was the guy who responded to cardiac and respiratory arrests with IV pumps at the ready. All I was to do is stand by and watch until the doctors or nurses needed me.

What's the most gruesome death you can imagine?
Torture for sure. Or burning to death.

How often do you think about death?
Every time my sister calls with any kind of urgency in her voice. It triggers a mental preparation that my father has died from a heart attack. Also, it triggers pondering my mortality.

Is fear of dying your number one fear?
No. My number one fear is not living my life as a good, full loving individual free from the horrible things that we all have the capacity to become. Abusive, hateful, vengeful, greedy, vain and narcissistic.

Do you believe in reincarnation?
Not sure... It would be nice I guess. I haven't really thought about it as an important part of my beliefs.

Have you ever wished someone you loved were dead?
I've wondered at great length how my life would change if they did, but never have I wished it upon someone I love. My ex was in this category and after flashbacking so many times, I believe these thoughts occurred to me because I didn't know how to otherwise handle her subversive or rather subconscious projection of intolerance, disappointment and unhappiness. Nor did I grok how to deal with my own similar projections onto her.

Do you consider life short or long?
When I'm tired of trying to keep up with how busy life gets, long. Otherwise happy, too short.

Do you think you have a soul?
Definitely. If I didn't, the terrible things I see people do to each other and this planet wouldn't hurt so badly.

Assisted suicide for a terminally ill person is:
A humane and ethical choice that belongs to the ill or closest coherent kin.

If you were cremated, where would you like your ashes?
I want my ashes to be mixed with rich soil and used to plant a tree. Preferably on the property I own at time of death.

Would you choose to be immortal if you could be?
Fuck yes. On the condition that my apparent age would be no greater than 29.

What do you think of Ouija boards?
Boring and hokey.