Stinky Drips Part 2

And can I just say, that the simple fact that there even has to be a part 2 to this seeping, smelling urine soaked story, leaves me with a far more pure version of anger than I had expressed before. I feel overcome with the power of hate that so many evil villains have used to no avail in the past.

Drips of piss started again just last night. Now, any of you that have met me in person know that most of the time I am a very reasonable man. Silly? yes. Dorky? you bet. Last night was different. I marched upstairs and knocked on their door for 15 minutes. No answer. I hear the dog barking. I wish I could kill it. I thought I heard someone telling the dog to shut up but I'm not sure. After banging so loud & long on their door, their neighbor comes into the hall to inquire what all the noise is about. I took a deep breath and laid out the situation briefly. "Oh. Sorry about the noise, man. Its just that their dog keeps pissing on their balcony and it drips down to mine." I said dryly.
"By all means, keep pounding." he replied.
*resumes pounding*
Still no answer. I was sure someone was home so before I left, I opened their mail slot and shouted, "I'm going to the Superintendent! This is BULLSHIT!!"
I returned to my balcony to see what I could do from my side. That was when I found paper towel crammed in the crack just as I did before. Now, this time, gazing at that urine soaked tissue gave me a wildly good idea. And by good I mean satisfying to me. I grabbed a coat hanger and bent the wire until I had a long skinny hook. I took it to my balcony and began to claw and dig at the tissue until I had recovered as much as I could. Thankfully, it was still nice and juicy from the dog's last visit to the bathroom. I marched that huge wad of piss-fiber up to their floor and shoved it into their mail slot. Motherfucker.
The next morning promptly at the ridiculous time of 7:00 am, I went back upstairs to see if I could get someone to answer the door. This time the man was home. *evil grin* "Good morning!"
"Hi. Did you leave this in here last night!?" he said as he held up a baggy with the piss tissues.
"Absolutely. And why shouldn't I? It belongs to you. Get your shoes and follow me to my balcony." I replied.
"Now?"
"Now."
I managed to coax him down to my house by promising no harm. Okay, now that was just fun. I don't get to play the strong one in potentially violent scenes. Really, I'm a passive person, but apparently some are more passive than I. So be it. It beats being at the bottom of the food chain. I took him to my balcony and pointed to where I retrieved the pisscloths. He was mortified to learn that they really were his pisscloths. "Do you think I pissed on it myself and THEN put it in your mail slot?!" I was starting to boil again.
"Not anymore..." he said looking at the floor. "What can I do? I replaced the pads and replaced the sheet and-" I interrupted, "Whatever efforts you've been making thus far, thanks, but no thanks. They obviously aren't working. You need a new plan because honestly? This is no different than someone coming to pee in YOUR living room! Is that what I need to do to get through to you? This has to stop! This is making me absolutely crazy! I'm furious with you. I hate your dog. And if you can't figure out a solution, I will. Get it!?"
"Yes. I get it. What would you do?" he said quietly.
"I'd do what I already do. I'd take my ass down 30 floors and let my dog out into the yard where creatures with four legs are supposed to deposit their waste! Look man, I don't care how much plastic or whatever you have to buy to prevent this problem from recurring. Its not my problem. Do it NOW! If you don't, it can create a new and bigger problem for you called 'keeping your dog'. Now please leave."
He left silently.



NOTE:
And for the record, I do not think that I am being too hard on him. There is a reason humans designed toilets. If I recall correctly, it is because we learned that disposing of our waste was far healthier than leaving it wherever it may have fallen. Clean up after your dog or I am going to pursue the removal of your dog from the building. *gives finger*



to be continued...